The
Rolling Stone
Personal Stories From The First
Edition
THE ROLLING STONE
AFTER the breaking up
of our home, my Father went west and took up his work and became
fairly successful.
Then it was decided that I should be sent
to a preparatory school so to a midwestern school I was sent.
It didn't last long for I got into a jam and left.
I went to Chicago, wrote my Father and
he sent me fare to come on west, which I did. I started in to
High School after I got there, but I had no companionship, for
my Father was away most of the day and when he came in he always
spent the evenings reading and studying.
This all caused me to become very bitter
towards anything religious, because I felt that I was only in
his way when he wanted to read his religious books and he took
only enough interest in me to leave a dollar on the dresser
each morning to buy my meals with. It caused me to become so
hostile towards anything religious that I formed a hatred against
religion which I was to carry for years.
During the time which I spent by myself,
I had found that I could buy wine and loaf around saloons and
it wasn't long before I had formed a taste for drink. I was
only about fourteen years old then, but I looked eighteen.
When vacation time came I wanted to go
to San Francisco. My father willingly let me go and after seeing
the sights of that city I decided I wanted to go to sea and
see the world, so it was only a short time before I found myself
signed as an apprentice at sea and leading a new life.
In the meantime my mother had married
again. I knew she was well taken care of so my letters were
few and my visits home were years apart, and through the selfish
interest I had taken in myself I never gave a thought to how
worried she might be over me. I had become a person wrapped
up in my own life only and giving no thought of anyone else.
Starting to sea out of San Francisco brought
me in and out of port there a great deal so I considered San
Francisco my home, and as I had arrived there about 1905 I knew
the old San Francisco of before the earthquake where the lid
was off and vice flourished at all times.
In my young life I saw all and knew all
and considered myself well able to play the game as others did.
I developed into a steady drinker and, when going to sea, was
sure I took enough liquor along to take care of me for the trip.
When we arrived at a foreign port we would go ashore and proceed
to see the sights which mostly started at the first saloon.
If American liquor was not to be had or was too high in cost
then we would drink their native drink, and as I look back it
hardly seems possible that I have a brain left to remember with
for I have done about everything possible to destroy it by over-indulgence
in alcohol.
I have been to most of the ports in this
world; have stayed in some for some time; have put in a winter
in Alaska; lived in the tropics; but no time did I ever find
a place where I could not get liquor.
I quit the sea when I was just past 20.
I had become interested in construction work, also had studied
some art and learned the Freco decorating trade. Eventually
I went into the building trade and have followed that ever since.
I had always made good wages or made good
at contracting, but was ever a rolling stone, never staying
in one place long and drinking just the same as in my seafaring
days.
I had always a certain respect for myself
and I carried my liquor well for years; knew enough not to make
a show of myself and stopped when I had enough.
Then came the war. I was 29 years old
and was in Texas when I went into the army and went overseas
from there. After leaving Texas I found out that we were stopping
in my home town for an hour and I received permission to call
my mother when we arrived there, so fortunately I was able to
get her down to the train before I left. I had not been home
in 11 years and I then told her if I came back alive I would
come home to stay.
I had not been in the service long before
I was a high ranking non-commissioned officer, for I had learned
army discipline years before in the army transport service and
while in this country and when behind the lines in France this
gave me a chance to get my liquor when my buddies couldn't.
But when we got to the front lines it
was the first time in years that I was unable to get my daily
share of alcohol but, when it was possible, I never missed.
On into Germany for six months where I
made up for lost time. "Schnapps" was barred to American
Troops but I got mine. After coming back to the U.S. I received
an honorable discharge and came back to my home and mother.
Then I started trying to break away from
liquor but it did not last. The last few years found me in all
kinds of mixups for I had at last developed into an alcoholic.
When I drank I would get to the state
where it required a doctor to straighten me out. The times I
have had to rely upon doctors are numerous. I even tried sanitariums
for relief. I had plenty of suffering thrown in but still I
would drift back again to that first drink and off again I went.
I wanted to quit but each time I drank
it was worse than before. The misery that my mother went through
was unbelievable for I had become her sole support. I was willing
to try anything if I could only get a release from this curse.
I knew it was breaking up my home and I was losing everyone
that was dear to me.
For a few months I was successful in discontinuing
drinking. Then all of a sudden I fell again. I lost my position
and thought I was through.
When I was told of a doctor who had been
successful in overcoming alcohol and was asked to go and see
him in a nearby city, I consented but with a feeling that it
was just another cure.
From him and a number of other men, however,
I found it was possible to become a man again. He suggested
my entrance into a hospital to clear my mind and build me up.
Meals had become a thing of the past for me. I had lost all
appetite for food but forced myself to eat a little to survive.
This doctor told me that unless I was
sincere in wanting to quit drinking, I would be wasting his
time and mine and also money in doing this. My answer was I
would try anything that would release me.
I went into the hospital and started to
build my body up again through proper nourishment, and my mind
through a different method than I had ever known of.
A religious awakening was conveyed to
me through some unseen force. I at one time would have laughed
at such a possibility because I had tried it and failed because
I had not applied it properly. I, at last, was shown the way
by these men to whom I am now most grateful.
I am now 50 years old, unmarried, have
become sane and sensible again, have made my mother happy and
brought back those who were dear to me, have made many new friends,
mix where I never mixed before, received back my old position.
I have the respect of my fellow men and have learned how to
actually live and really enjoy life. It has been nearly six
and a half years since I have found this new life and I know
as long as I do the few things that God requires me to do, I
never will take another drink. |